Hope

"Hope isn't crazy"

Those are the words that went across my best friend's dorm room wall, and those words inspired me today.

Today I felt really really called to write about hope.

Recently, I've been very, very anxious. I try taking deep breaths, talking it out, crying it out, writing it down, or taking a walk to try and relax. But the only thing that seems to make me feel less anxious is the idea of hope. 

To me, hope is about trust. Hope is trusting that things will all work out for the better. 

Having hope is being able to say, "Yes this situation is really scary, tough, and challenging, and I feel like I'm going to break, but I will keep on keeping on. I know this situation will work out. I know God is good and faithful."

With all of the situations that life throws at us, I just feel really lead to say, keep fighting and keep hopeful.I know there are some of you out there who are really hurting and going though immense challenges, but I want you to know that there is hope and you do not have to struggle alone. I am going though my own struggles right along side you.G4G is right along side you.

 Life is sometimes a series of battles. I think the key is to just keep fighting. As long as there is hope, their is victory.  

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)." 

"Hope isn't crazy."

Maybe this week we can focus on hope instead of hurt

Hilarious Commutativity Test

In the last post we talked about the sexualization of women in the media. Sexualization is defined as making something (us as females) sexual. What bothers me the most, is that sexualization means valuing  a person on sexual appeal or behavior; nothing else. For example...

For this post, I want to focus in on poses. I know this might sound strange, but go with me on this. I think that by the end you might find it hilarious.

In the media women are often posed in very similar physical positions: slightly open mouths, pouting, looking flirty, in sexual positions (bent over/legs up), and contorted in odd ways. Do you ever stand like this from head to toe?  

I don't either. 

The issue with poses like this is that they say a lot. I am a big believer in carrying yourself with confidence. Not loud, crazy type walking, walking with arrogance, or your nose in the air; but shoulders back, head up, and smiling. Do the images above show confident, strong women? No, they look hyper sexualized. They look like their sole purpose is to please a man. 

Now you might be a little skeptical about a pose saying all that, so let's flip the situation around. What if men posed like women in advertisements? Would we still think that these poses were not a big deal? The images below are examples of this idea, it is called the commutativity test. 

These men look absolutely ridiculous! But what's even more ridiculous is women pose this way frequently in advertisements and magazines. 

We go about our daily lives without questioning why. Why is it that women pose sexually and it's accepted, but when men pose sexually we think "What the heck?!"

I think it's important that we  challenge the media.

It's time that we stop accepting sexualization, and the commutativity test is a great way to do that! I think it's a great exercise to do with anyone of any age because it's so funny! 

*The next time you see a sexualized image ask your friend, daughter, or cousin to imagine the image with a man instead of a woman. Firstly, you'll probably laugh, and secondly it's a great way to start conversations about how women are portrayed in the media. When you shed light on sexualization, you beat it!

Thank you the inspiration for this post Chelsea Evanyke! 

(1) http://www.petapixel.com/2011/10/04/men-photographed-in-stereotypically-female-poses/

(2) http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2011/10/07/satirizing-sitcoms/

*All Images were taken from Google Images: G4G does not take any credit for these photos

Sexualization

Sexualization.
 It disgusts me. In all honesty, this is a topic that makes me want to cry because of sheer anger. To be truthful, it makes me upset because of the effect it can have on us.
Sexualization is defined as making something sexual (1). In our culture that "something" is us; women. According to the American Psychological Association, sexualization occurs when...

• "a person’s value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or 
  behavior
• a person is held to a standard that equates physical attractiveness 
  with being sexy;
• a person is sexually objectified—that is, made into a thing for 
  others sexual use, rather than seen as a person
• or sexuality is inappropriately imposed upon a person" (3) 

 Everyday, in some way, shape, or form we are taught by the media that we are sex objects. We are told that the greatest gift, the best thing we can do for a man is "give it up." We are shown that to be worth something we have to be sexy. Sexualization can be seen in..

TV shows: like the Bad Girls Club, Jersey Shore, Real Housewives, and Flavor of Love

Music: Miley Cyrus dancing on a pole at the Teen 2010 Teen Choice Awards, and lyrics such as Christina Aguilera's hit, "He's a one stop shop, makes my panties drop. He's a sweet talkin' sugar coated candyman."

And Magazines/advertisements

The American Psychological Association states that Sexualization can have very negative effects such as.... 

1.  low self-esteem
2.  depression or depressed mood
3.  stronger [approval/support] of sexual stereotypes that depict women as sexual objects 
4. Appearance and physical attractiveness at the center of women’s value.

Sexualization, especially in mass amounts, is hurtful, harmful, and unacceptable. This needs to stop. We can't have this continue. There is more to a relationship then sex, and we will never have high self-worth if we measure it on how sexy the media says we are or are not. 

The first step is to be conscious that sexualization exists. In our busy lives we often over look it. *This week G4G is going to make an effort to be more alert and conscious about identifying sexualized images. This week we are taking a STAND by  watching what we watch. We hope you stand with us! Join us in the conversation on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/pages/G4G/268873239847616)! We would love to hear your opinion! Feel free comment below as well!      

Sources

(1) http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sexualization

(2)http://psychcentral.com/news/2011/08/11/medias-growing-sexualization-of-women/28539.html

(3) http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/report.aspx
*All pictures were taken from Google Images

Kaylee's Story

Hello Beautiful Strong Women out there!

     Today I am absolutely honored to have G4G member Kaylee Dalaba write a post for us today! I read this story and I was absolutely amazed by Kaylee's strength though a really difficult time in her life. I hope her story inspires you as much as it has G4G!    

     "In 2007, I was told I was fat. I'm 5'9" and I've never been over 100 pounds, but I believed it. I became obsessed with that one comment and I showed it in my actions. At first, I just started exercising more, but then my thoughts raced even more and my actions became more drastic. I started by cutting out junk foods like candy and potato chips, then I would restrict on full meals and obsessively weighed myself. By 2009, I weighed 95 pounds and people were starting to notice. My aunts told my mom and dad that I should see a doctor and my mom took me to see one. That was when I was diagnosed with anorexia. I started seeing a doctor regularly, as well as a nutritionist and a psychologist. But I didn't want to change...

Until one night, when I thought I was having a heart attack. By this point, I was used to having chest pains so I played it off like it was nothing, but an incredible pain went from my left shoulder down my left arm and I was terrified. I was rushed to the ER and they said it was just an anxiety attack, but I was still afraid. But that still wasn't enough to change me...I don't know what really changed my mind about getting help. I don't think it was just one thing, but just recently (from December 2011 to January 2012), I went to a mental hospital called Four Winds where I was treated for anorexia and depression. They were there to support me and help me get better, but it the end, it was me. I was the one who wanted to change. I was the one who wanted to get past my anorexic thoughts. I was the one who worked for it.

From this experience, I've learned so many things about myself and I'm working to encourage others to learn about and love themselves as well because we're all beautiful. We're all worth it. We're all in this together so why not encourage each other? In my mind, everyone has great potential, we just have to find it."

If you are out there and are fighting with this kind of thing, I need to tell you something right now; there is hope.I am not a doctor, nor am I a psychologist, but I do know this; You are stronger than it. 

It hurts. I know, girly, it hurts a lot. 

You are so, so beautiful, and you are worth so so much. God loves you so much and he doesn't want his little princess to hurt anymore. At G4G, we don't want you to hurt anymore either. I hope that Kaylee's story has inspired you to start taking the first steps towards healing. At G4G we are ALWAYS here to support you!!!  

If you want to start the process here are somethings you might want to think about...

• telling someone you love and trust
• seeking help from a kind professional
• seeking a support group
• *know you are not alone

If you have a friend or a family member who is hurting in this way, here are some suggestions to help you along the way. Know that the best thing you can do is love and support her. It's hard to know how to help someone you love go though something so hard, but that's what friends and family are for. 

• *Support your friend, but know your limits; talk to a professional, guidance counselor, RA, mom, dad, or someone you trust, so you know what to do 
• The magic words, "How can I help?"
• Listen with your heart
• Show compassion 
• Offer to go with your friend to see a kind professional 

For more information on anorexia you can go to Medline Plus they are a very trustworthy source, and they come straight from the National Library of Medicine.