G4G Redefines Beauty: Outreach #2!

G4G Redefines Beauty

By Lauren Halligan 

          Homemade cardboard TV sets were placed around campus on October 25 and 26 by  the club Girls 4 God.  These displays featured magazine images of women being objectified, glued on the television screens, with words describing how women are falsely portrayed in the media. Alongside the TVs was the giant message: “You are more beautiful than this.” The displays, part of G4G’s second official club outreach, were located in the dining hall, outside of Camelot, the commuter lounge,and the Lima lobby.The displays, entirely handcrafted by the girls of G4G, included “pictures that both women and men may both find degrading to the female population. All of these pictures were found in magazines -pictures ranged from women with barely any clothing on to being placedin a sexual position with a male,” explained club member Christina Procida.The outreach was intended to bring to light the stereotypes of women created by the media, while reminding the women on campus that theyare beautiful, “actually … more beautiful than what society says,” said founder and project coordinator Tinamarie Stolz. “I feel that the media portrays beauty in such a narrow way, and women in such a negative way.” 

          “We feel that the media portrays women in a negative light, and sets an impossible standard of beauty,” said Stolz on behalf of G4G. Contrary to the media perspective, “We believe that every girl is beautiful, and that the media shouldn’t set the standard,” said Stolz. With the goal of a more confident female population, Procida said, “We want all women to see that beauty is found in every single person and in order for change to occur, we as women need to see it in ourselves as well.” 

           “As an outcome, the members of G4G hope that girls see that they do not need to live up to the standards that society has placed by needing to be too thin or too perfect in order for someone to love them,” said Procida.“We feel that the media portrays women in a sexualized way --sexualized means as sex objects only with no feelings, thoughts, oremotions,” said Stolz, clarifying that “We are not against sex, but against the sexualization of women.” While the issue at hand may be quite large, G4G's greatest hope is that the displays served as a reminder to women on campus that theyare intrinsically beautiful.For those walking past the displays last week, Stolz said “I hope it made them smile, and I hope that people who walked by were reminded of how beautiful they are!” Stolz noted that the outreach was part of a larger fundamental goal ofthe club, explaining that “...our major mission is to spread love, and empower women who are like ourselves!” G4G started their work as a club this semester, although the G4G blog has been running since December 2011. The fairly new group iscomprised of over a dozen female students who organize monthly outreaches to help empower women.Although the TV display idea started with Stolz, she said that it“could not have been executed without the hard work of the group,”adding “they’re really a group of wonderful and beautiful people.”

** This article was written by the WONDERFUL, KIND, and BEAUTIFUL Lauren Halligan!!! She is TRULY a fantastic writer, editor, and person. Thank you so much Lauren for your time writing this awesome article, and for your support!  

You Opinions: The B Word

Opinions:

         Women "are taught to soften their opinions...they fear being called a bitc* (1)."

When I first read this statement in my textbook I really reflected on it. After a lot of thinking, I believe this statement has a lot of truth to it. I believe that as women we sometimes soften our opinions in order to not hurt other people's feelings. To me, softening an opinion is another way of saying, "My opinion isn't important/good/intelligent enough." As nice people, we don't want to intentionally hurt someone, and that's a good thing, but we need to realize that we can give our opinions

 respectfully, and honestly. 

As for the second part I had to be frank with myself...I do have a slight worry about being called the B Word. I feel like if someone calls me that, people will automatically judge me, not give me a chance, or treat me different. But as I was reflecting I realized something:  I'm letting a word dictate my opinions and the way I live life. We are letting a word dictate our opinions and the way we live our lives. And it doesn't have to be the B Word, it would be ANY offensive/mean word.   

But the WORST part is the "devaluation of femininity is not only built into cultural views, but typically is internalized by individuals, including women (1)." When people devalue our opinions we internalize it, and we eventually believe that our opinions are not worth anything. I was talking about this concept with some of my residents. My resident Nina said, "A lot of girls dumb themselves down...for guys especially. You want people to like you." I think she's right. We don't let our true opinions or thoughts shine because of the fear we've developed though internalizing other people's disrespectful comments or actions.   

But I'm telling your right now...

your opinions and thoughts are too VALUABLE to keep hidden. 

The world needs opinions and ideas like YOURS. You have important things to say, and share! So say and share them! 

Love, 

G4G and Tinamarie 

    

*Comment below and tell me what you think about this topic!        

   

Works Cited

(1) Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, & Culture by Julia T. Wood 10th Edition

Respect

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

      Respect is defined as "a feeling of deep admiration for someone; due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others."

I think this definition is SPOT on! I don't know about you, but I don't really think about respect until I don't get it. 

But how do we know we are being completely respected, subtly disrespected, and completely disrespected?

Let's start with subtle disrespect: 

This are the things that appear little/harmless on the outside, but really sting on the inside. It could be in the form of: sexist jokes, put-downs, devalued opinions, whistling, sarcasm, and rude comments. These are the things we don't bring up others, because we don't want people to think that we're "too sensitive."    

Complete disrespect:

This is a little different. This takes subtle disrespect to a new level.  

• name calling, lying, yelling, degrading women emotionally, degrading women's intelligence, inflicting physical harm, not respecting personal boundaries, not listening to "no", and bullying 

are all ways that complete disrespect can be shown. 

You do not have to take this.

  But what about complete respect?

 These are the things that make us feel wonderful. These are the things that make us feel good, special, and capable. These are things like: 

• caring, listening, kindness, sincerity,  honesty, compliments, trust, knowing each others limits, heart-to-hearts, chivalry, wanted hugs and kisses, and staying true though the bad times.

When you are feeling completely respected, you are feeling supported, and treasured. 

But here's the thing about respect...it's NOT a gift, it's something that everyone deserves.

You deserve respect.

If you are in any kind of relationship, and you think that you might be being disrespected, this might be something to reflect on:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

*Insert the person's name into the green words of the scripture, and see what happens.

 Now, no one is perfect (I know I'm not!), and everyone has times where they do disrespectful things, but there IS a line. 

Don't be afraid to walk with your head help up high, and use your voice to get respect. 

Don't be afraid to say firmly but respectfully say, "Hey, when you say that to me, it makes me feel disrespected. Please don't do that anymore."

If that person does respect you, they will take you and your feelings seriously. If not, it might be time to think about moving on.

 

 If someone in your life is disrespecting you, I pray that you find the strength within your heart to know that you deserve to be respected.

**DO YOU WANT TO HELP G4G CREATE A POSTER ON RESPECT?! Our new goal is to make an eye-catching poster directed to women about how we deserve respect! 

Any ideas? Comment below!!!   

 

Cloths Pins

CLOTHS PINS! 

          G4G (Girls4God) had its first official Outreach last Wednesday! G4G spent the day clipping 600 cloths pins on to people's bags, and backpacks! It was G4G's way to reach out into the community, and remind women that they ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! G4G member Christian Procida said, "It was a great way to reach out to people who don't know about Girls4God, and it also helps girls know they are beautiful no matter who they are." At an earlier meeting, the girls brain stormed different, and fun ways to spread some joy and the G4G message of... 

1. Knowing you're beautiful inside and out
2. Loving yourself exactly as you are
3. Healing from past hurt
4. Being empowered!

G4G member Rebecca Fey light up, and suggested that cloths pins would be a great way to spread that message, and brighten someone's day. Rebecca said that the outreach was "Fun to do. It was fun to make a difference in someone's day. The point was to make a dent in someone's day... in a good way!" 

After reflecting on the day, Tinamarie Stolz exclaimed, "All I can say is that I am so blessed to have such an amazing group of dedicated women in G4G. I can not express how grateful I am to every single one of our members, and I hope the cloths pins made you smile!"  

Perfection Hurts

An Amazing G4G member, and personal friend of mine wrote this speech to give at her high school graduation! You go girl! 

Is Perfect Worth It?

      Beauty is something women have tried to achieve for centuries. But is it really something worth trying to achieve? Women have put themselves and their daughters through extreme pain in order for society to consider them beautiful. From the Chinese foot binding to the corsets of the Victorian ages. And now, in modern times with plastic surgery, beauty seems to always be tied in with pain.

        For several hundred years in China, women of high class, and even middle class would cripple themselves by binding their feet so tight that their bones would break. Mothers would take their daughters, who were used to running around free and climbing trees, and force them into a life of pain and immobility.

        During the Victorian age, from China to America and Europe, the pain of beauty did not end... the means of torture changed. The corset was now the weapon of choice to achieve a dangerous standard of beauty. The small waist it provided was not the only alteration it made to the body. The tight fabric that was often ribbed with whale bone or steel would alter and distort the placement of the internal organs and ribcage. Women would die from internal bleeding due to a rib puncturing a vital organ because a corset was laced too tight. 

         Now, women are still torturing themselves for beauty. Plastic surgery, extreme dieting, and extreme workouts are the foot binding and corsets for the modern woman. Women spend thousands of dollars to go under the knife to change their appearance. From breast implants to liposuction, some women are willing to do anything to fit society’s standard of beauty. One mother even encouraged her 16 year old daughter to get a nose job!

         Many risk the possibility of not waking up. Why is this? It’s because society has instilled in us the idea that girls need to be beautiful in order to succeed. When we were young, beauty was always associated with kindness. And face it, no one wanted to be an ugly stepsister. Even in fairytales, beauty took precedent over personality. Prince Charming didn’t fall in love with Sleeping Beauty’s winner personality after all. It was her amazing beauty that captured his attention.

          With the idea of perfection ingrained in women’s heads, it’s no shocker that plastic surgery, cosmetic surgery to be more exact, is a multi-billion dollar industry. Clinics receive and average of $100 million a year just from non-invasive surgeries alone. The idea of nipping and tucking isn’t just in the US either. It’s world wide. A 21 year old Saeko Kumura, a native of Tokyo, received surgery to widen her eyes and “improve” her nose and chin. The results? Once the anesthesia wore off, she collapsed to the ground clutching an ice pack to her face murmuring “It hurts.”

          According to the chief surgen at the Faceline clinic, people “think that plastic surgery is one of the easiest ways to improve their personal relations and to do better, to achieve more in society." Now more women are putting themselves under the knife, including a minority who were once thought to have pride in their bodies.

          Besides the loss of money, they’re risks to cosmetic surgery. Take liposucktion for example. It is a very popular surgery that literily sucks the fat out of you. Because this precedure does not take place in a hospital but in a clinic, many assume that the risk are lower, but this is not the case. A published survey shows that this operation has a 20-60% higher risk that all other surgeries that take place in a hospital. Blood clots, anethesia problems and internal injuries due to this seemingly harmless operation are factors that can cause death. Would you risk of never waking up, ugly scars, or unbarable pain just so you can impress a society which places appearance above all else? Or maybe $5,000 for a tummy tuck that you could achieve from a healthy diet and exercise? Is perfect really worth it?

A note to all women out there who believe that cosmetic surgery is the way to go: Don’t listen to society. Aesthetic preferences change year to year, and even season to season. Your life isn’t worth trying to impress guys who suggest you would look better with bigger breast or a smaller nose when in two years they’re going to prefer the girls with flat chests and a normal sized nose. Just remember, you are beautiful to those close to you and you are too precious to change your body in such an unhealthy and dangerous way.

Thank you SO SO SO much for sharing this with us!! It was absolutely beautiful, and came right from the heart. Thank you for sharing this and making the world a better place!!! You GO GIRL!!!  

 If you want to share your story, or something you've written (a poem, story, opinion piece) please feel free to e-mail us at g4gyourebeautiful1@gmail.com!

The Looking-glass Theory

The Looking-glass Self. 

       I was reading for one of my favorite classes when I came across a theory called the Looking-glass. It says that...

 "We paint our self-portait with brush strokes that come from...imagining how we look to another person." 

It continues on to say, 

"Individuals' self-conception result from...the judgements of significant others." 

I literally stopped reading, sat down on my couch, and reflected on those statements because it just blew my mind. The theory is saying that we define ourselves by how others react to us. How crazy is that?! But how true?!? 

As I was reflecting, I asked myself, What do I think of me? Not What do others think of me? Not What does my family think of me? Not What does society think of me, but What do I think of me? Maybe we all love ourselves, but we have been taught to judge ourselves by other people's expectations and judgements. 

We tend to see ourselves through societies eyes.

As women we sometimes feel like we have to achieve an impossible standard of beauty, be perfect, or act promiscuously to find a boyfriend. I believe we think those things because we are looking at ourselves through societies eyes, when should be seeing ourselves through the eyes of the people who truly love, and care about us. We should see ourselves through the eyes of God. 

Now, I don't know what you think about you, but I know what God thinks about you. He thinks you are the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful you there could ever be. He thinks you're super talented, and smart. When God looks at you He sees nothing but beauty, and when God looks at you He feels nothing, but the most powerful love there could ever be. He loved you so much He died for your because you were worth dying for. 

And I didn't make any of that up! It's all in the Bible! The Bible is a love letter. A love letter to you.

 Love,

G4G and Tinamarie 

Works Cited --> all quotes are taken directly from...

Griffin, Em. A First Look at Communication Theory. 8. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2012. 54-66. Print.

Transitions

Transitions can be tough. By definition "transition" means "to change", and if you are anything like me...you hate change. Change has always made me extremely anxious. There are also many types of transitions you could be going through. You could be transitioning to a new school, job, team, or group of friends. Since the new school year has just begun (or about to begin) I think that transitions are a really important thing to start thinking about. 

Whenever I transition into something new I get very nervous, and tense. I feel like I'm not ready. I feel like I'm going to mess up, and not be able to handle it. It's like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I find that when I transition into a new part of my life self-doubt starts to set in. My personal self-doubt sounds something like this:

Can I do this? I can do this...no I can't do this. What if I mess up? I can't handle this. I'm not as good as these people. Can I do this? I can....'t do this! What if they don't like me? I'm going to fail. Who am I anyway? I don't want to do this anymore. AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Transitions. 

Transitions mean change, and change means something new. When faced with a new transition we sometimes panic because we don't have any experience with it. But that is where confidence comes in. When you have confidence in yourself you can succeed through any transition, because...

1. Confidence means you are willing to work hard
2. Confidence means you are okay with making mistakes, owning them, and learning from them
3. Confidence means you know how talented you are, and that you CAN and WILL be successful
4. Confidence means you stick to your values

When we transition into new lifestyles such as middle school to high school, high school to college, college to a job, or a job to another job, it becomes SO easy to lose sight of who we truly are, and what values we have. When we transition we can feel alone and vulnerable, but hold on to your values. Your values determine your actions, and your actions help develop and determine who you are. Being in a new part of life doesn't mean changing the wonderful things about you. Don't try to fit in to a mold because you want room to grow! 

If you are struggling with a new transition here is what I really want to say to you.

Dear G4G Member,

        Today is your first day of your new transition! You are going to do fantastic. Remember, don’t be intimidated by your boss/teacher because you’re smart. Don’t be intimated by your peers either, because you are an original, and there is no one quite like you. I know it might be scary, and you’re not sure what to expect, but always know that you grow the most when you are out of your comfort zone. Through this experience you will start to find yourself, and see who you truly are. Be the best you can be, and make good choices because they will only benefit you in the long run. “You are braver than you believe, smarter than you seem, and stronger than you think!”GOOD LUCK!!!!

Lots of love,

- G4G and Tinamarie

*What transition are you going through right now? How are doing? How do you cope with it? Comment below!!!! 

 

When Looking At...

There are a few REALLY important things to think about when looking at the way women are portrayed in the media. Especially, when looking at advertisements and covers of magazines. Here are three easy steps to use when analyzing how women are portrayed in a specific ad, TV show, or magazine cover. 

1. Look at the picture

Take a look at the picture and ask yourself these questions: 

Is the woman in the picture...

a) sexualized (she's a sex object and only a sex object)

b) objectified (she's an object: actual object, or sex object. Sometimes both!)

c) dismembered (the focus is on her butt, boobs, or legs. She is seen not as a whole person, but as parts)

If you said yes to any the questions, then the picture alone is portraying women in a negative way. I personally believe that a picture is worth 1,000 words. And there are a TON of advertisements out there that sexualize, objectify, and dismember women. That's a LOT that's being said without actual words.  

*It's also really import to mention is that we are not judging the model as a person! We are analyzing, and thinking about how she is being portrayed. 

1. Look at the words around the picture

Sometimes the picture alone, but it's the words around the picture that cause women to be portrayed in a negative light. 

Does anyone notice the "Red-Hot and Blue" comment on the top left? Or the "Dirtiest jokes, craziest stories, Skimpiest outfits" on the top right? Or what, in my personal opinion, is the most OFFENSIVE comment the "Out of Uniform. Meet the Marines Sexiest Sargent" on the bottom left?

A picture can be seen in different ways, but words have less wiggle room. Ask yourself: What do the words say? What do the words really mean? 

1. Analyze 

Analyzing is last because it puts all the pieces together. You are a smart person, I know you are. It just takes a want to see the way women are portrayed. Once you want to, and once you take some time to analyze, you will be AMAZED about what you can see. 

*Use your knowledge for the better! Help others see what you see! Help other women analyze different types of media, and TOGETHER we can shed some light on the way women are portrayed!      

Love,

G4G and Tinamarie 

Say Good-Bye

A new school year is starting soon, and I just wished my little sister off to college before going back myself. Yes...I'm very sad, BUT even though that good-bye wasn't happy, it's got me thinking about when good-byes are positive. 

I think it might be time to say good-bye. 

Say good-bye to insecurity, self-hate, anxiety, mean comments, anger, jealousy, bad relationships, and anything negative in your life. I am horrible at good-byes (you can ask anyone I graduated high school with). But that's a different kind of good-bye. The kind I'm talking about is more about cleansing. 

Sometimes I feel caught up in my own negativity. It's like I'm sitting in a rain cloud, and everywhere I look I only see the gloominess. When that gloominess sets in, it's time to say (as hard as it may be), "GOOD-BYE NEGATIVE THING, AND DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!!!" 

I'm not saying ignore problems because that won't get us anywhere. I'm saying say good-bye to negativity. The only way to conquer negativity is to say good-bye to it. Because when you do, you take back control of the situation.  

There are a whole bunch of ways to do this. I personally do this through prayer. When I sit in the morning and listen to positive music, and read my bible I find that I gain control of my negativity. I try my best to give the negative to God, and deal with the reality of my situation with the strength I regained from that time with God. When I pray I feel like God reminds me of how strong I am. Never forget how strong you are! I also think that talking about it to a friend or family member, and letting all the negativity out helps clear the way. As corny as it might seem, I put Post-Its around my room saying happy things when I want to get rid of a negative thing in life! You could post at G4G's Facebook page or comment below, our community would love to support you in anything you need support though.

At the end of the day, there are three steps to defeating the negativity in life...

Say good-bye, walk away, 

and don't look back. 

Love, 

G4G and Tinamarie  

Olympics!

I love the Olympics! I watch sports that I would never watch any other time (rowing for example!), and I love the inspirational stories of the athletes that come from the Olympics!! But these great games always bring up a timeless debate-- men vs. women athletes. 

There are plenty of women who are amazing, and outstanding athletes. Mia Hamm, Michelle Quan, Serena Williams, and Gabby Douglas are only a few of the best women athletes in history. 

Last year in English class, I was part of a heated discussion about women's athletics. One group said that women were not as good as men, one group said women were as good as men, and one group didn't care. 

As a female athlete myself I was in defense of women. I explained that women were better and could take down any man if they wanted, and they should. A friend of mine (she is a FANTASTIC soccer player) brought up an excellent point that changed by perspective. She said, that her coach would often say if women think that they should be playing with the boys, isn't that saying that other women are not good enough competition?

WOW! I had never thought about that! I had to sit and really think about those words. After looking back and reflecting on my initial thoughts, I realized something. I realized that thought that to prove that I was a great athlete I had to beat a guy. Why wasn't beating a girl good enough? How many times have your heard the worst insult ever, "You play like a girl!" Just look at this clip! 

It was never a good thing to "play like a girl." Girls played with dolls, and boys played baseball, so telling someone they played like a girl was the WORST insult imaginable. Did you see their reaction when he said that? Playing like a girl was worse then being called a jerk, butt sniffer, scab eater, puss licker, and fart smeller.

When I was little I was a tomboy. I could throw a football, and a baseball. (WAIT! Right there! Tomboy! Why was I thought of and called a tomboy, not just thought of as a girl who played and enjoyed sports?) I saw gym class as a way to lead my team to victory during capture the flag. I often reminded my favorite male gym teacher to say "he OR she" when saying things like, "When he or she goes into defense..." and I couldn't stand anyone who didn't want to play as tough as I did. To prove my athleticism I played with the boys. I was a great basketball player because I could keep up, and beat the boys at recess. The key word was prove. If I had to prove my athletic abilities with boys; that meant girls weren't good enough for me to play against. It wasn't about what I could do, it was about who I could beat. I know that it wasn't a conscious thought process or done on purpose, but to me it's a really interesting thing to think about and reflect on.  

The issue here is that as women, we need to hold ourselves to a high standard of athleticism, and ignore gender. Talent is talent, practice is practice, and wins are wins. 

But I have to know what do you think? Do you have any experiences or stories to share?

 Love,

G4G and Tinamarie 

The Weight Issue

The issue of weight is a VERY complicated one because it has so many intertwining layers. I've been thinking about this topic for a while, and this topic was also suggested by a G4G member on the survey!

We all have our own issues with weight. We can feel too fat, or too skinny. We can feel like we are pudgy, boney, plump, scrawny, or unfit. Sometimes I feel bad for my body because at times it takes some seriously unfair emotional abuse via my thoughts. No matter who we are, or what we weigh, most of us have some problem with our weight. Here are 3 idea I've really been thinking about, and I want to know what YOU think!  

1. Our culture is obsessed with being thin because we think thin = beauty

I truly believe that this is the cause of the weight issue. We think that being thin makes us beautiful, and being fat makes us ugly. We judge ourselves by the scale. We base our self-worth on weight. How could we not, when a large majority of the media focuses on being thin, and the thinness of others? I'm going to estimate that 99% of women's magazines have some sort of new diet or "lose 10 pounds in 2 days" article. Take a look at the magazine cover below. It SHOWS you the "best" beach bodies, and the "worst" beach bodies. It shows you a clear comparison between the "best" and the "worst" bodies. It tells you that you can't be too skinny, and you can't be too big. 

There is a big difference between magazine articles that show how to get in shape, and healthy recipes, and magazine articles that body shame. The cover above body shames. 

2. We don't know what a healthy weight is

"I'm a healthy weight. That might be a little wired for Hollywood." - Zooey Deschanel 

We are bombarded with image after image after image of ideal beauty, and one part of the ideal beauty is being thin. But not a healthy thin. Take a look at these models. I can not image the pressure they feel to be thin. There is no way this is healthy for them.

It's about being healthy. Ask yourself, "How do I feel?" If you're eating good foods that help your body, and exercising to make your body strong, then I really think you're doing great. If you are really concerned about your weight talk to your doctor. If your doctor wants you to lose weight, or gain weight for health reasons then do so in a positive way. 

3. Warfare 

We have declared warfare on our bodies and each other. Extreme diets, unnecessary surgery, eating unhealthy things rage war on our bodies. When I really got to reflecting on it, we sometimes not very kind to our bodies in our thoughts or actions. I think it might be time that we start treating our bodies with respect. But here is the really big issue. We judge each other on weight. We make assumptions about others because of their weight. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "She's a skinny bitc*" or "Well, she's just miserable because she's fat." How rude are both of those statements?! Let's be real. If we see a woman with a "better figure,"sometimes our first reaction is to cut them down in some way (even if it's not intentional and only in our minds). When we see a woman who does not have the "perfect body" being confident in a certain kind of outfit we think, "Who does she think she is? She can't wear that!" We put so much importance on weight, and shape that we are mean to each other, and to ourselves.

When it comes to ourselves, we just need to treat our bodies with respect by eating healthy foods and excising. It's about taking care of us! Love yourself healthy! When it comes to others, we need to remember that weight does not make a person, personality does. 

   Love,

G4G and Tinamarie

All images except for the very last one were taken from Google images.

 G4G does not take any credit for these photos. 
The last picture was taken from a book my mom gave me when I was 15. I still read that book to this day