Friday, June 29, 2012

Struggles

We all have struggles in our lives. When I struggle I feel like I'm drowning. My anxiety spikes, and I don't feel like myself. We all struggle because of different situations. It could be anything from dealing with anxiety or depression, moving, illness, relationships, a new chapter in our lives, or self-esteem. My struggles are different then your struggles which are different from a friends struggles...but they are all struggles
Struggles suck, and I am not going to lie and say they don't, BUT I'm starting to learn something about struggles that I have never recognized before. 
Go with me on this.
We are afraid to struggle though our struggles. 
I know that there are difficult obstacles in my life that I am beyond afraid to go though. My fear becomes debilitating. On top of the struggle at hand, I am afraid to go through that struggle. 
So I had to ask myself, what is the bigger problem; the struggle itself, or the fear of the struggle? It's not our situations that are the hardest to deal with, it's the fear behind them.

Now no one wants to struggle. But we can't be afraid of them. We can't be so afraid of struggles that we sit in them. We can't be so scared to struggle though something that we give up, and camp out in the struggle. If we sit in our struggles and don't try to get through them with confidence we will never get anywhere. 

I am learning that I can conquer so much more in my life when I refuse to be afraid about struggling though it. In life there WILL be hard times. But being afraid to climb over struggles is probably the worst part. Yes, climbing over them might be difficult, but it can't be any worse than letting the struggle suffocate you
Maybe loving yourself is a struggle, but though that struggle you will see how amazing you are. If you don't fight though it, how will you ever get stronger? How will you ever move forward?
If I am struggling though something, I'm learning to accept it, and not be fearful of it. I'm learning that if I'm struggling through a season of my life...struggle. It's okay to struggle. Maybe struggling though things sometimes is the best thing for us, because it teaches us that we are are stronger than our struggles. 
you are stronger than your struggles.

There are times when I struggle with faith. There are times when I get mad at God, and I wonder if I want to identify with being a Christian. But every time I feel that way I struggle though it. And after I get through it, my faith is always stronger then it was before. 
Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." 
The key word there is WALK. Keep walking though what your walking though. If you have to crawl know that G4G is here to help pick you up, and if you can't get up, we want to crawl with you until you can. My God is stronger than my struggles. 
"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
 If you're struggling with something I want you to know that you are not alone. G4G is here to support you. No judgement.  


Love,
G4G and Tinamarie 

Have you ever had to struggle with something in life? How did you get though it? Do you want to share any advice or anything you learned?
*Please feel free to comment below! (everyone can post because I changed the setting! Sorry it took me so long to realize!)  









Tuesday, June 26, 2012

ANYONE CAN!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you know that ANYONE can comment on G4G's blog now (not just other blogspot bloggers)! 
I just had to change one quick setting!!!! YAY!!!!

I am SO EXCITED because I really do care what you think, and what you have to say.

My biggest goal for G4G is that it is a community!

Have an excellent day! 

Love,
G4G and Tinamarie 

Friday, June 22, 2012

Who are you friends with?


This topic can be a little touchy, so please please please read it with an open mind and an open heart. 
Be carful who you're friends with. 
No one likes to be told what to do, and I get that completely, but all I want is give you somethings to think about.

My mom was always super nosey and involved with who my friends were. It used to annoy me, but now I understand. Who you surround yourself with is almost as important as who you are because friends will always be a major part of our lives, and friends can influence us to be the best version of ourselves, or a version we don't want to be. And I think that this topic is often thought about as something girls ages 8-18 go through, but I think this is an ongoing issue. Being an adult doesn't mean being invincible to negative influences from friends.

Maybe you're now starting to question if a friend or group of friends are good for you to hang out with. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

 Does this person/group... 
  1. love me as I am?
  2. tell me when I have food stuck in my teeth, have bad breath, or toilet paper stuck to my shoe (in a quiet, nice way)?
  3. accept my beliefs?
  4. accept my values?
  5. talk about me behind my back?
  6. help me be the best person I can be?
  
"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."
~ Elbert Hubbard
Friends are people that think you're awesome when you feel like you're not. Friends bring you soup when you're sick, laugh at your jokes (even when they're not funny), and give you a shoulder to cry on. Friends open up their homes and hearts. Friends care when it seems like no one else does. A good friend will kick your butt when needed, and will be open and honest with you. A good friend won't gossip about you, but tell you what you need to know to your face. A good friend accepts your beliefs and values. 


If you decide that a friend/group of people are not positive for you, it might be time to distance yourself, or stand up for yourself. It might be time to not hang out with them as much. I'm not saying go cold turkey and ignore them, or be mean, I'm just saying distance.
Do your friends lift you higher?

Do you have a good friend you want to give a shout out to!? Comment below, or give them a shout out on our Facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/pages/G4G/268873239847616?ref=tn_tnmn 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Power over you

You know what makes me super mad and makes me feel unconfident in myself? Those one or two people that have the power over you to somehow make you feel like crap. Maybe you have people like this in your life. Symptoms include...

  • Feeling nervous about seeing them
  • Feeling unconfident when your around them
  • Feeling like you have to impress or please them
  • Feeling like you have to be someone your not when you're around them


It's negative. 

There are people in our lives that have authority for a reason: your parents, police officers, doctors; they tell you what to do because they care or need to protect you. For example your mom might not let you hang out with someone because that person is harmful to you, or your doctor might tell you to start eating more fiber. Someone having power over you is different then someone have authority in our life. People who have authority love you and/or are looking out for your best interest. People who make us feel unconfident or less then are normally not looking out for our best interest.  

But here is the catch!!
A lot of time people have power over us because we let them.
In the past I was very hurt by a trusted person in my life. This person said and did some awful and hurtful things to me. Every time they would come around I would want to curl up in a ball and disappear. I would fake being okay, put on my "best" behavior, try on 10 zillion outfits before they would arrive, and ate only certain foods around them. I tried to get them to approve of me....I was driving myself crazy.

But now times have changed...big time. Recently my dad and I were taking about this topic, he said, "You see? You can't let anyone have power over you like that." And I really thought and reflected on it. We can't let people have power over who we are and how we feel about ourselves.

Loving yourself means not letting others control you. You are a strong confident woman, and NO ONE can ever take that away from you. People are only as powerful as we let them be. What if no one listened to the mean girl/guy in school? What if no one cared what they thought? How powerful would they be then? And how powerful could we be if we let ourselves be powerful? 

Once I realized that I was the one who had control, once it hit me that I didn't need their approval, or love, or even liking to be confident things changed. I refused to let them bother me. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes I panic, but it's a habit I am trying to form: not letting anyone change how I feel about myself.  
   
I personally believe that God is the most powerful mighty thing in the universe. How did he show us how powerful he is? He sent his only son into the world to save us, love us, and show us the way. Now THAT'S positive power. Some in-law, boss, ex-friend, ex-boyfriend, or other mean person is no where NEAR as powerful as that. Revelations 1:8 "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty."
  

Thursday, June 7, 2012

What are they really selling?

The first thing you need to know is that I am not a media hater. As a communications major I study TV, radio, and PR campaigns, and advertising (that is what my concentration is in). I just think that the media is extremely powerful and that power can be used for good or for bad
In the world of advertising in regards to women....I think its power is used for bad. Really bad. 
In today's world, companies need to make their products stand out. A lot of products  on the market today are exactly the same: lipstick, toilet paper, paper towels, and mascara are just a few examples. But what makes the product Revlon foundation? Or Cover Girl mascara? Companies make their products different and unique. They are using product differentiation. But to create product differentiation, companies use branding. Branding is "a type of product made by a particular company under a particular name," and you as the costumer will KNOW what the company name on cue. Branding is what makes one company different from another. For example....  


I would be willing to bet a million dollars that 99% of people reading this knew it was Mickey Mouse and the Walt Disney Company just from this one symbol. That's branding (and REALLY effective branding).

I personally have nothing against branding and advertising theories, and I really do enjoy learning about them. I also think branding is important for companies because to sell a product companies really do need to stand out. Disney is known for its movies, positive stories, dreams coming true, believing in ones self, and magic. That's positive. But I do have an issue with companies using sex appeal, insecurities, and embarrassment to sell their products.    

Have you every noticed that in a lot of ads (TV, radio, magazines) they don't really talk about the product? 
A lot of the time companies want you to buy a product, but they are selling you something else.

 Charles Revson, the founder of Revlon, was quoted, 


"In the factory we make cosmetics; in the drugstore we sell hope."
Right there. That's it. We buy products because we want to look like the girls selling them. We have "hope" that we will look like the girls in the advertisements, or get the attention from the handsome guy (sex appeal). You might be thinking to yourself, "I don't actually think I'll look like them!" But why else would we buy a particular product? We buy because we feel insecure. We buy make up because we don't want to be "ugly." (NO ONE is ugly, more on that a few posts down the line!) We buy certain cloths because we don't want to look bad, or be out of style. We buy whitening strips so our teeth won't be stained or yellow. 

Let's take a look at at another...

  These are two advertisements from Abercrombie & Fitch.....clothing stores... with people wearing no cloths. So what are they really selling? 

We are being sold the definition of beauty. We are being sold the standard for beauty. But enough is enough. It's time we take a stand. The best most effective way to stand up against this is to be aware it is happening. The next time you want though the mall, or other shopping center, see if you can look past the immediate ad and see the next layer. You might be surprised by what you find. 

What are your thoughts/feelings on today's post? Feel free to comment below! 


 

Friday, June 1, 2012

Perfection vs Excellence

Perfection. 
            This topic is so vast I could blog about it for years. 

Let's be honest: we all strive for it. However, this idea of being perfect is a damaging one. Let's be real: there is so much pressure to be perfect. I know this because two days ago I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Tinamarie, it's okay not to be perfect." WHAT A RELIEF!  
To be a perfect woman in today's world takes on a whole lot of crazy. To be perfect we must have/be...
  • a super career
  • be super mom
  • perfect body
  • popular in school
  • best on the team
  • all A's (no A-'s don't count!)
  • president of every club
  • have the perfect man
  • perfect cloths
  • And if you're a Christian you're not allowed to "sin" because "you're a Christian you can't do/say that!"
It's a nightmare. Trying to be perfect is stressful, and it takes so much anxious energy. Honestly, trying to be perfect is exhausting

To get to the core of this perfection problem we have to first ask ourselves: what areas of my life do I want to be perfect in, and why? This is going to take a lot of heart and honesty. For example: "I want to have the perfect body because I want guys to look at me the way they look at other girls (this was one I had to live with for part of my life)." Or "I want to be the best on the team so everyone will like me." I know, thoughts like this even if they're deep down, are hard to admit; but, we can't love ourselves if we don't face why we don't love ourselves first. It's like we try to be perfect, because once we are THEN we can love ourselves. If we perfect we have permission to love ourselves. But we will never be perfect. And that's okay to love ourselves even if we have flaws. If you know a person without flaws I swear they're probably an alien!!! :-) 


Maybe you're thinking, "I want to be the perfect mom because my kids deserve it." Or "I want the perfect resume so I can go to an excellent college and get an excellent job." Those things are good to strive for and great to want, but where is the line between striving for perfection and striving for excellence? Striving for excellence means giving whatever your going for your best shot. Excellence is giving 100%, and if you make a mistake you get right back up and try again. Perfection is measuring ourselves to such a high standard that it is not healthy to meet. Perfectionism is self destructive, and makes you crazy. To be honest, I don't like who I am when I'm trying to be perfect. I get all anxious, frustrated, annoyed and upset with myself. I don't want to live like that. 
What I'm really trying to get at here is that being perfect is not possible, and not fun. Life is too short to be perfect. Also, I think you're awesome just the way you are!


**What do you think about perfectionism? Comment below or on our Facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/pages/G4G/268873239847616 
I love hearing from you!